Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Chilcot enquiry brings memories the anti-French hysteria whipped up at the time of the run-up to the Iraq War (Jack Straw was a prime offender). This performance poem was written as a response at the time. Not everyone understood the satirical intention...

(a poem for two voices)

We sing of a nation that everyone knows
Is clearly responsible for all of our woes,
Perfidious folk that we hardly need name:
Just listen to us, and you'll know who's to blame –

When you're sick of this or that,
Blame the French,
When you'd like to kick the cat,
Blame the French,
When your nerves are feeling weak
And you're full of pain and pique
Then the fault's not far to seek –
Blame the French.

When your love life's in a mess
Blame the French,
When you try – without success –
Blame the French.
When she says you've lost your spark,
That you're not up to the mark,
Just remember Joan of Arc
and blame the French.

When diplomacy has failed
Blame the French
When your plans become derailed
Blame the French
If they set some slight condition
On your plotting or ambition,
Well – Damn them to Perdition –
That's the French!

Think positive, think sure,
And blame the French.
Think of Crecy, Agincourt –
Who beat the French?
We will battle all the way
With Laurence Olivier
And shout Vive the USA –
But not the French.

So into the breach once more –
A bas les French!
On them our scorn we pour,
Lie down ye French!
They're a worthless, devious pack,
Charlemagne to Chirac,
We will hate them all our days,
We wll boo the Marseillaise
(Allons enfants de la patrie –
merde, zut, non!)
As we chant this simple phrase:


1 comment:

  1. Allons-y, c' est la faute des Français, non?
    i certainly sympathize with this one, i was working in a library when my compatriots back home had the nerve to dissent with the predominant warring mood of the administration.

    so i was told to never tell of my nationality, as it may cause " problems", i rather felt this was an excellent opportunity to enlarge client's spectrum of information.
    and i listened to local opinions. oh did i learn.
    thank you, merci, pour la leçon d' histoire.
    French poet, lost in the plains where buffalo no longer roam.nadine Sellers